January 2009
the thing i love about patrick is that if you didn’t know who he was or what he does for a living, you’d be shocked if he opened his mouth and you heard the noises that can come outta there.
:] snow days make me happy
“i am not afraid to keep on living. i am not afraid to walk this world alone.”
i am colorblind coffee black and egg white pull me out from inside i am ready, i am ready, i am ready i am fine
i don’t think i’ll ever get over fall out boy. it’s the words, the music, the videos, and they touch me in such a strong way that i’m astounded when other people can’t feel it. every, time, i listen it still happens with every, single, song
“i found the cure to growing older.”
i wear scarves and hoods ‘cause they’re the only poker face that i got left, and everything i love about you is a mess. smash the mirror, and break the palm reader’s hand. i want to be better than i am.
dreams are an interesting concept. despite all the theories and interpretations, dreams are simply our minds, playing tricks. messing around with it all and seeing what thoughts are capable of. taking everything we’ve ever seen or known and mixing it all up to confuse us and entertain our bodies while we rest. do i think specific dreams occur for specific reasons? certainly, but not often....
“blindfolded, eyes wide open
staring through me”
– william beckett
me: did our parents just set us up on a blind date?
susanna: yeah, but i think i might have seen you before
a song for a heart so big, God wouldn’t let it live
“what happened to thinking that the world was flat”
– matt nathanson
wanna know what the inside of my head looked like...
an entry from a private lj i keep and post in from time to time. it’s funny how looking back on this, i don’t even get all that upset. it’s also funny how i don’t mind sharing my most private thoughts with anyone, everyone:
“what the fuck am i? right now i just want to laugh, laugh until my sides split apart and my head spins less and until i can make myself cry...
i miss you. may angels lead you in.
awesome/weird things: the disco’s cover of shout! a picture of keltie in cheer academy, the gym where i freaking practice every day, whaaaat? ryan ross fighting the ocean. ryan ross quoting e.e. cummings. finding a video on youtube of brendon saying “nice to see you again!” to me while leaving the m&g.
that picture of the girl with quotation marks tattooed onto her back? i...
“i swear i’d burn this city down to show you the light”
favorite game in the wooorld →
the other night i let my mother read my notebook, the one i’ve been keeping for the past half year, and it has some of my best writing in it and some of my deepest secrets and no one’s ever read it before but me. it was a really good feeling. i love that she supports me in this.
“the goal is not to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.”
– chuck palahniuk
“i can’t be sick, i gotta ball hard in school!”
– k. gac
shout out to natile
natalie: OMG ALYSSa
I TOTALLY
WROTE
A PARAGRAPH
ANALOGY
for chem
about single replacement chemical reactions
that was about you and brendon and joe
me: AHAHAHAHAHAH WHAAAAAT
omfg lol
natalie: i shall type it for you
me: oh, please do
natalie: Alyssa goes to the dance with Joe. All is well until Brendon sees them dancing. He thinks Alyssa is very pretty and he asks her to dance. Alyssa says yes, and at the end of the night, Alyssa & Brendon leave together, but poor Joe leaves alone.
i can’t wait to write tonight. maybe i’ll stay up til sunrise (and still be okay)
“sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same”
“i’m so hiiiiigh”
– b. b. urie, that green gentleman - panic at the disco, 3:08 (via pavlove)
lalalalala i have to analyze 14 poemsss. and i still don’t know if we won yet.
if there’s one thing these past few years have taught me, it’s that there’s always time for the internet.
always.
and iselin - remember what i said about looking in the mirror. if you can’t say ‘i love you,’ know that i do, and always will. <3
“into the sea of waking dreams i follow without pride
nothing stands between us...”
i just want to cry for a while, i think that will help me pull myself together. it’s just four days. it’s only four more days.
i’m caught somewhere in between alive and living a dream. no peace, just clicking machines in the quiet of compazine. the walls caved in on me. i lay still, still i’m ready to fight. have my lungs but you can’t take my sight. the walls caved in tonight.
slumdog millionaire was brilliant. is brilliant. go see it. now. run
to do list for my own reference: d’silva for pants hemmed. watch fiona apple dvd. barnes & noble. STRETCH SCORPION & work tuck. give susanna alex’s card. do my fucking laundry. finish reading blue diary.